We affirm and acknowledge the work of our people. Each meeting, event, and workshop starts off with an affirmation “call and response” chant. Each meeting, event, and workshop ends with an AHA moment or I Respect moment, I admire moment.
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We ask before we hug – we acknowledge everyone has different physical boundaries, and seek to create a space where everyone feels safe and empowered in their own bodies.
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This is everyone’s home. Not just one of ours.
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“Don’t yuck my yum” / “don’t giggle my wiggle” -people have different tastes and preferences. avoid statements such as “i hate that” or “eww!”. No shaming and/or belittling each other and ourselves. Clapping, punking, teasing or jabbin at another person (even if for supposed laughs) is not leading with love and support, and will not be tolerated.
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Don't accuse, ask. This means until we have have asked with an open mind, we do not act as if we understand someones intent. We ask and trust before feeling we know the answer. We seek a balance between process, relationships and outcomes. In our work together, we work to create an environment where we can ask clarifying questions openly- rather than assuming negative intent, ask with an open mind.
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We acknowledge some jobs are not as sexy as others, but we take turns to share the less exciting parts of the work. We share the labor of meeting roles including (but not limited to): facilitator(s), note taker, public scribe, emotions monitor, timekeeper, doorkeeper, meeting DJ, food support, sweeper, cleaner, etc.
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We have a lot to learn. Learning is a lifelong practice. No one has all the answers. No one is the best at everything. We check our egos at the door. We are optimistic about the future and do not put energy into complaining. We recognize our flaws and admit when we need help. We admit when we are wrong. We admit when we do not know. We communicate when we cannot move forward. We agree to consistently check in with ourselves about our own capacity, be willing to ask ourselves in the moment “Is this something I can really do right now?” and be willing to ask for help and/or share the load when we don’t have capacity. We agree to bring forward a deep intention to listen without the need to fix. We agree to reach out for help if a person is presenting with a situation that is more than we can handle in the moment.
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We strive for a leader-full space, in which we hold ourselves and each other accountable, share information and resources, listen and implement input. (Thanks MiJente) A place for new and “seasoned”, regardless of age. We share and listen. Don’t downplay each others stories. Let someone’s story be their story. We share time and space equitably. Before judging someone about their deadlines or delays, call them in, and ask what they need to be supported
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We live with the complexities of the present, and with what has been passed down. Like all colonized people we hold that double consciousness of what we have been told versus what we know to be true. Colonization has forced people to assimilate into values that work against our own self-interest and fragmented who we are for generations. We owe it to those who will follow to do the work towards wholeness, wellness, and healing. Part of this is unlearning lies we’ve been told, remembering who our people are and where we come from, and living the legacy of radical love, resistance, and resilience of our ancestors.
(Thank you MiJente) |
We are mindful and intentional about how we take care of ourselves and each other. When we prioritize our own needs we can show up better for each other and our community. We must also build a culture of collective care practices that reflect our self care needs and the needs of each individual. Self-care is not an excuse to neglect or disconnect. (Thank you, Anti-Oppression Network)
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The word “family” carries significant and sometimes painful meaning. We do not take it lightly and our experiences show us that it is complicated. Whether it is family as determined by blood or family we choose, it takes work. There will be mistakes and growing edges, and they will have impacts. We know everyone is capable of being harmful and of being harmed. Conflict is inevitable and necessary for honest discourse and unity across difference. We believe building a space that can hold disagreement can lead to greater accountability, resilience and antifragility. This means we won’t condone call-outs and exiling each other, or playing oppression olympics with each other. But this also means we don’t allow things to fester inside. The state has often robbed us of our ability to transform conflict and hold relationships with one another. Thus we believe principled struggle is central to our capacity to self-govern and build for the long haul. (Thank you MiJente)
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Finding you are not in Right Relationship is always saddening with those you love....“to grow in love, transforming from a secretive, jealous, manipulative attempt to own another, into an open, loving, pure and accepting way of walking alongside and weaving into the life of another – it’s liberating.” (Thank you, Adrienne Maree Brown). This is a journey some may not be ready for, which can be harmful to others in the group. We center our community and step aside when we cannot hold them in their excellence and know when to leave. If a member is not ready to show up to take the small or big steps forward to unlearn and support and honor the excellence of our people, we must give space and love from afar. Never fully leaving. Always being present through love and light from afar. We never turn our backs. We never throw each other away.
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